i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
