someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
