apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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