i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
