Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
