Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
