Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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