As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
You smell like stripper and shame
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
