Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize