i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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