I could make wine with my vomit
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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