he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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