i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
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You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Are we still banned from the library?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
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He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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