Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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