It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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