Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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