Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
