My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Operation Purity has been aborted
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
