Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
