She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
