i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
