The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize
