I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
