you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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