if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
