My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
