There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
