she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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