this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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