he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
