Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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