I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
