so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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