Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
