if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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