When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
