we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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