Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
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