is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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