I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
