He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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