I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
