She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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