In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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