How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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