Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
