Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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