I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
