I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
