i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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