the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
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You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
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It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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