we have pet lesbian snakes
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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