I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
