Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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