Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
