And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
