Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
