Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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