plz talk dirty to me
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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