We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
