This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
