I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
