Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
where are my eyebrows?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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