last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
